Today is my beautiful Son Joshua Sean’s birthday. Josh would have been 23 today, and he would have been so looking forward to celebrating with family and friends.
This will be the second birthday that we have celebrated without Josh and it is getting harder and harder.
My feelings are so raw that I have to push them down, to keep myself sane. The hurt, anger, pain and total devastation can not be described in words; there are no words that can explain the scenarios that I play out in my mind when I think about, the huge void in my life.
I can’t give my Son a kiss, a hug, a birthday card or gift. I can’t txt him during the day to let him know what our plans are for the evening. And I can’t see him smile or hear his laugh, while we celebrate.
I have had to endure such pain, pain that I could never have imagined, and each and everyday it gets harder. I know Josh is with me and guides me because he sends me the most beautiful signs. This photo of us together was taken on his 21st birthday, I remember asking him if I could get a selfie and i’m so glad I did.
I love you Josh, happy birthday my beautiful Angel, mumsy misses you like crazy ❤????????