I know self-care is important for our well-being but having said that I am not good at it. Self-care means sitting with my grief which I avoid. My complicated grief and trauma are easier to manage when I work as many hours that I can physically fit in. If I am busy and not alone…
I have lived my life without Josh my beautiful, funny, caring and loving son for 6 years. My heart aches for what might have been every single day. Josh’s life was taken from him in a barbaric act that took no longer than 6 seconds. Six seconds? How do I make sense of what happened…
This week I have shared some of my experiences of the Criminal Justice System (CJS) with the BBC as a secondary victim of Josh’s murder, or the term I would prefer to use as a ‘co-victim’. I was asked to share my experiences to help shed a light on the inhumane way in which I…
The last time I spring cleaned my house was the early part of 2015 it was around May before I was due to have a big operation in June. I remember getting as much as I could organised before I went in to hospital so that when I came home there would be very little…
This year just like 2015, 2016, 2017, 2018 and 2019 it has been just as hard to navigate the criminal justice system as a victim of crime. If anything, every year seems to get harder especially as I learn more and more about a system that is set up to fail victims. I discovered I…
For as long as I can remember I have always been aware of the importance of doing what is right. I have always stood up for those who are being mistreated and those who might not be able to stand up for themselves. And when the same treatment has been returned to me I have…
One year ago today SOB was sentenced to life with a minimum term of 26 years for the brutal murder of my Son. There he was right next to me, the man who took my child’s life. This was the first day of the trial which should have been three weeks. However, the trial…
Today marks five years that I have lived without Josh and, 1,825 days, 43,800 hours and 2,628,000, Josh has been denied his best life. As I write this blog, I am re-living five years ago at this time. I was standing across the road from where Josh lay waiting for the forensic team to come…
The 11th day of every month and for the rest of my life I will associate it with Josh’s last. Some days are much harder to cope with than others. This is because I live with Trauma, PTSD and Complicated Grief, all of which are debilitating, and impact on all areas of my life as…
Before Josh was murdered and denied his right to life, when he was taken from me and from all those who love him, I never truly understood the profound depth or impact that such an unresolvable and final act had on the secondary victims of crime, and no one more so than that of a…
Sitting still and taking time out for just 10 minutes a day can help us to connect with ourselves and reduce stress. Eating healthy and exercising regularly also helps us to cope with a host of mental health issues from anxiety, panic disorder and depression. Thinking positive thoughts and setting goals and tasks help with…
Josh was known for not staying in or being in the same place for too long and, apart from when he was sleeping he was constantly on the go. I know that he would have still been working during the lockdown as he would have been a key worker who was providing an essential service.…
Today marks four years and seven months since Josh was taken from me by Shane O’Brien. A man with 17 previous convictions and who was known to the police. A prolific offender or a hardened criminal is a term that I have used for him when sharing Josh’s story in schools and colleges, but I…
Hello everyone, I hope that you are well, that you are keeping safe and coping in such emotionally challenging times. Since the start of the Coronavirus and the first cases that were confirmed at the end of January in the UK and the continued escalation of deaths each day since, I have been experiencing a…
Staying focused is not easy as every minute of every waking day is filled with thoughts of Josh. The thoughts are mostly painful as I relive what happened to him over and over again with no respite. However, on the 11th of every month I not only relive these thoughts but I work through the…
Josh’s lucky number was 4 and today mark’s 4 years and 4 months without him here with us. I stayed up until the early hours of this morning and replayed what happened to him over and over again on the 11th of October 2015 while talking to him and to God. I always ask the…
I entered 2020, with an almighty bump, in-spite of the promises that I had made to myself, to God and to Josh in my prayers, which was to hit the ground running from day one, I face planted. I had made a deal that I would keep fighting injustices and work hard to make positive…
As Christmas fast approaches I dread it more and more. And having space and time alone with my memories of Josh while focusing on the happy times that we shared together throughout the 21 years and 8 months of his short life, breaks my heart. I never got to share Josh’s 21st Christmas with him,…
Over the past few months, I knew that once the trial was over my grieving process would really start to begin. I had been told this by many bereaved parents, therapists, friends and my family. Of course I knew that once justice in court had been served I would have a lot more space in…
Around this time on this date four years ago I was standing across the road from the RE Bar where Josh lay on his own on a cold floor. He lay on the same spot where he took his last breath for 15 hours, on his own until he was brought out. I waited for…
Today marks 3 years and 11 months without my beautiful son Josh in my life and during this time I have had to share my loss alongside a campaign fighting for justice for him. The pain and the suffering that is now my new ‘normal’ continues to affect everything in my life from waking up…
Hello everyone I hope that you are well. Today marks three years and 10 months today without my beautiful Josh and again the past month has been challenging in more ways than one. Brooke and I are still navigating ourselves through the Criminal Justice System while we fight for justice for Josh. We are also…
Three years and 9 months ago today I lost the beat to my heart. My best friend, my Son, my everything was stolen from me, and the fight for justice for continues to go on. Justice in a court of law means that Josh is given the dignity that he deserves and for his name…
Hello everyone, I hope you are all well. I have been forced to live with grief since Josh’s murder, I live with a huge loss, extreme heartache, and an emptiness that has left a massive void and I really don’t know what to do, I feel so lost and lonely because no one, not a…
Hello everyone I hope you are well. Three years and 7 months today at 1.15am we were told on the phone on the way to try and save Josh’s life that he was dead. His throat had been slit (we only found this out 2 and a half years later after reading Josh’s Post Mortem…
Hello everyone I hope that you are all well. I have prayed day and night that the day would come where we no longer had to keep distributing wanted posters because an arrest would have happened. I prayed that I would be able to write that a charge for Josh’s murder would have happened in…
Josh Hanson Trust – A thank you to you all – BlogAs each day goes by I am finding it harder and harder to accept that my Son Josh is no longer a part of my life. Today marks 3 years and 5 months without justice for him and I am no closer to getting…
The 11th of the month has come around again and far too quickly and it marks another month without justice for my beautiful Josh and it marks 3 years and 4 months without him here with me which is just too painful for words. Everyday and no matter what I do I think about the…
Hello everyone, I hope you are all well. Today the 11th of January 2019 marks 3 years and 3 months without Josh in my life and no justice for him either, and another start to another year wondering how this can even be possible. You can only imagine how I feel, you can only imagine…
3 years and 2 months on this earth, living and breathing without you here Josh, is for me, even though I am living it, truly unbelievable. How am I doing it, how Josh? I know that you wished you could tell me face to face, I know you wished you could show me what there…
Three years and 1 month without you here with us Josh and still no justice for you. I am trying everything that I can and so are your family, friends and the public. It seems that there are no new leads on the whereabouts of the man the police would like to speak to in…
3 years without justice for Josh I have woken up to the heartbreaking reality that Josh has not been a part of our lives here on Earth living as we do for the past three years. I have lived with three years of unimaginable pain and a daily heartache that is masked and wrapped around…
Hello everyone I hope that you are all well. There are so many coping mechanisms that I put into place to help me to get through the days without Josh in my life, but whatever I do I always replay my memories of the happy times that I spent with my beautiful boy. I particularly…
I have been told that the Italian news was covering our appeal at the same time that they were covering the news on the shootings in Canada, the incidents are unrelated. The police would still like to speak to anyone who has any information on the whereabouts of Shane O Brien. We would like to…
29 months today without #justiceforjoshhanson but we will not give up hope. With #ItsCominHome we could be celebrating another home goal and seeing an arrest made! Please get involved with the #MostWantedCup and help catch SOB #mostwanted fugitive ⚽️ ? #50k #reward @SadiqKhanhttps://t.co/4Ktl9aF4xj Today 29 months ago I was told that my beautiful Son’s life had been taken from him and we are still fighting to get justice…
Two years and 8 months without my Josh and without justice for his murder. Whenever I write anything and believe me I write, the rage and the pain that I have inside of me seems to stay just below my chest bone. I write letters and emails every single day, pushing for this, asking for…
The months seem to be flying by and time for me like so many others like me who have lost a child to a violent act of murder or manslaughter find that time really doesn’t mean anything anymore. Two years and 7 months ago at this time 6.00am, I was on my way back home…
Hello everyone I hope you are all well. The 11th day of the month is my Son’s anniversary and today marks two and a half years since Josh’s murder, and that is also 30 months, 130 weeks and 913 days without justice for him too. I am numb and still in shock at what has…
Hello everyone, I hope you are all well. While going through the many photos of Josh that I have on my phone this morning to see which one I want to share with my post to mark 28 months without him, it felt for a moment like he was still here with me. But the…
My love for you is the same today as it was the moment you chose me to be your Mum and from the moment I laid eyes on you I knew you were going to be one of the loves of my life along with ‘B’. The day’s are getting harder and harder and 27…
Another month has gone by and here I am again appealing for help from you my friends the public. A public that have stood with us shoulder to shoulder for the last 26 months. A public who without question have shared the wanted poster worldwide and a public whom without, I would not be where…
My beautiful Son Josh was murdered on the 11th of October 2015, 25 months ago today and we are still waiting for justice. Everyday is a challenge for us without Josh and it gets harder as time goes on. The pain, the tears, the anger and the frustration are our ‘new normal’ and even when…
Hello everyone I hope you are well. By now you may have seen the latest appeal along with the new wanted poster, and like us you are probably feeling the same as we are, angry, frustrated, horrified and wondering how can there still be no justice for Josh. Take a minute and look at your…
My beautiful Son Josh, 23 months today and here I am another month on the 11th writing a post to you on FB, talking to you and sharing my journey with all of those who know you and with all of those who have known you since you were brutally and horrifically murdered. I can’t…
Hello everyone, I hope you are well. This is the first post I saw this morning that came up on my timeline and I thought it fitting that I share it as my post to mark Josh’s 22nd month of not being here with us on earth. This past month has been one of the…
Hello everyone I hope you are well. This past month has not only been heartbreaking as is everyday, but it has also been a learning curve for me. Every single breath I take without Josh; 21 months today, is a heartache and when I say heartache I mean my heart actually aches. Only a parent…
Hello everyone I hope you are well. ❤️?? Since the murder of my beautiful Son Josh, with each month that passes it is as heartbreaking as the month before, and to be honest it is only getting more unbearable. From the very moment that I was told Josh was dead; and those words are as fresh…
Hello everyone, I hope you are well. This past month has been another challenge for Brooke, myself, family and friends. Another month without justice for Josh another month with no answers and another month that I have lived when my beautiful Son has not. It is heartbreaking living a new moment or a new experience…
Hello everyone I hope you are all well. With only a few days left before our 5k fun run in memory of Josh and a celebration of Josh’s 23rd birthday, I hope you have managed to get some practice in, ???♀️??. The day is also about raising awareness to knife crime and the prevention of knife…
Today is my beautiful Son Joshua Sean’s birthday. Josh would have been 23 today, and he would have been so looking forward to celebrating with family and friends. This will be the second birthday that we have celebrated without Josh and it is getting harder and harder. My feelings are so raw that I have…
Hello everyone I hope you are well. I have been without my beautiful Josh for 15 months today and although I move forward his absence and such emptiness comes with me. Life is so very quite without my beautiful Son but I listen to his voice and laughter in my mind and this makes me…
Hello everyone I hope you are all well and looking forward to Christmas?. Another month has passed, 14 months since that fateful call telling me that my beautiful Son and Brookes brother Josh was dead as a consequence of being stabbed in the neck in an unprovoked knife attack. The pain and shock comes in…
Thirteen months and still no justice for Josh. I ask myself how can this be possible that SOB the man the police would like to speak to in connection with my Son’s murder is still at large. It takes just one call or just one sighting to help put an end to the suffering we…
The pain that I feel everyday can never be expressed with words alone but I will try. My heart aches with a pain that never eases and my emotions are always up and down. Some days the pain is numbing and other days it is so sharp, but whatever type of pain it is it…
You were so full of life, always smiling, always laughing and always there for Brooke Louise Lyla Hanson and I as well as your family and friends. I miss you so much Joshua Sean and everyday I am brought to my knees aching to have you back here with us yet I smile to hide my pain. I…
My beautiful boy I carried you and loved you for 9 months the same length of time that I have not seen or touched your beautiful face or heard your beautiful laugh. From the first breath that you took our bond was unbreakable and nothing has changed, you see my heart from the inside and…
Good morning everyone I hope you are all well. Every second of the day my heart breaks and every month on the 11th breaks my heart even more, all of the what if’s hit harder because I know in the early hours of the morning 8 months ago today my beautiful boy was murdered in…
Hello everyone I hope you are all well. I would like to express my deepest thanks and gratitude to all of you who follow this page for Josh. It is nearly 5 months on and we are yet to get the justice that Josh our terribly missed Son and Brother so rightly deserves. We want…
Hello everyone I hope you are all well. This morning I have again opened my eyes with the feeling of pain and the ache of loss. This has been the same as every other morning since the day I was informed that my beautiful Son Joshua Sean was no longer alive.In the past three months every second,…
Good morning everyone. Sitting on Joshua Sean’s bed looking at his photos of friends and family on his wall and writing the following does not make any sense to me at all as I keep thinking this is all a terrible nightmare that I will wake up from. Josh’s final farewell celebration of his life…
I had to officially identify Josh’s body at the mortuary yesterday and my heart that was already broken is now shattered to pieces. The injury that Josh received is barbaric and to see my beautiful Son laying there maimed has shocked me to my core. As a Mother I will do all I can to…